Well fuck. Here we are again – it's another snowma-fucking-ggeddon.

As if being trapped indoors for months at a time wasn't bad enough (fuck you COVID), your relatively blissful once-a-week trip to the supermarket (that previously served as a welcome escape from the monotony of home-fucking-schooling) now requires you to first excavate the stupid fucking car using a stupid fucking tea tray – and all because you didn't heed our previous warnings to buy a proper fucking shovel*.

To make matters worse, because you didn't buy the kids a decent fucking sledge* the last time, you've had to send them off with a fucking tea tray and a couple of plastic fucking bags, so they're probably going to hate you forever.

Sure, you could try having them delivered from Amazon, but it'll probably cost you twice the normal price and by the time it comes it'll be fucking Easter.

So yeah, 2021 has started off about as good as 2020 was, but all is not lost. Fill in the form below, and on June 15th 2021 when snow shovels are cheap and plentiful again we'll email you a reminder to buy a fucking shovel.

Act now to make sure next winter is a fucking success for once: